- [A picture of a hideously fat woman at a drive thru]
{{Jim: Hey, it’s that fat guy from Austin Powers! Silly movie makers, you should always take off the hilariously unrealistic fat suit before letting Mike Meyers drive home.
{{Marcus: Her (?) arm looks like that stack of round children’s plastic donuts you see in doctor’s waiting rooms.
{{Jim: How dare you drag the good name of children’s stacking toys through the mud?
{{Marcus: Because I’m filled with anger and hate, Jim.
{{Jim: Redirect that anger and hate towards that lady, who’s clearly eaten an entire African country’s worth of food.
{{Marcus: I think if she fell into a campfire it would burn for seven days and seven nights.
{{Jim: She’s the new Hanukkah.
{{Marcus: The menorah? Nah, that’s her fork.
{{Jim: I can see that all too well.
{{Marcus: I heard that, according to the ancient stories, the Wise Men brought three gifts to her.
{{Marcus: The first was a gallon of butter.
{{Marcus: The second was a year’s worth of Prilosec.
{{Marcus: And the third was an industrial lathe with a thoroughly-cooked steer inside.
- {{GX: For that, I could work in North Carolina and not have to worry about living on a freaking peninsula.
{{Jim: What’s wrong with a peninsula? You racist.
{{GX: A peninsula is a land wang.
- Marcus: Whitney, take your vice: the sweet scent of tobacco… or corn.
- Jim: Problem is, there’s just so much porn to look through. You can only see so much of it in one life time.
- Jim: Honey is awful.
Derek: Honey is amazing!
Jim: If you’re brain damaged.
Derek: Consider me brain damaged!
Jim: I do!
- Dean: Oh man, I don’t know why you guys hang out with me at all.
Jim: Nor do I, Dean.
Dean: Here’s some money.
- Jim: It’s a shame that the end of the world is in nine months. And this isn’t the fake end of the world like when we went to the strip club, it’s the real one.
- {{Some Guy: Speaking of which, how have all of you been?
{{Jim: I’ve been a smoking corpse in the field.
Home › Forums › Quotes in Which We Insult Othes (As Usual)
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